So, I'm in the local Exxon TigerMart this morning, buying my usual 44-oz. Mountain Dew. (I gotta wake up somehow!) I wasn't totally coherent yet, and I felt a bad day coming on -- especially after being hit in the behind by one of the (broken) front doors, and being greeted by "Love Will Keep Us Together" BLASTING over the store intercom...

Of course, I am powerless to resist humming and semi-waltzing through the aisles, trying to decide between Ding Dongs and Cool Ranch Doritos for breakfast. I dance in the direction of the counter as I sip the cool sweet nectar that is my morning Mountain Dew, and I notice that the clerk stocking the up-front beer cooler is chuckling at me and singing to herself as well.

I look at her, she glances sheepishly at me, and the magic spark of Captain & Tennille possesses us. And faster than muskrat love, we are doing a pseudo-Hustle and singing to each other at the top of our lungs -- "I will! I will! I willllllllllllllllllllllllll ... be there to share forever! Think of me babe whenever..."

All movement in the TigerMart stopped. All eyes focused on us. It was Tennille-riffic.

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© 2000 W.C. Lovejoy

This is a story by Chuck.